Eliminating Reactivity

The most important thing that I have learned so far in my few weeks of working at 18 E. Elm is that if you are nice to people, it gives them no reason to be angry with you. Simple concept, but most of us become reactive when someone approaches you with a problem, especially when they put it on you.

I constantly have people coming into my office with a problem and they are ready to put up a fight over it. I can sense their agitation and I can sense that they want to take it out on me. Of course I don't ever take this hostility personally. I was not the one you who installed a dysfunctional oven or the fire alarm that goes off for no reason. So all I have to do is respond in the most compassionate and helpful manner. There is first an immediate sense of confusion from the complainer because I think they thought I was going to respond in an "I don't give a shit" fashion, then a sense of relief, and then gratitude. All within a couple seconds the energy in the room plummets back to a calm place free of agitation.

Obviously this is the basis of customer service, helping when help is needed and adhering to the demands of the needy. But the idea of eliminating reactivity will solve more dispute (or stop them from ever forming) than you would believe and brings your stress levels down dramatically. And this does not mean being passive aggressive. It means allowing yourself to react to a situation in which you do not give the other person an opportunity or reason to respond in a negative manner. Both parties win. Stress levels calm down for both people and you can get on with your life (but first make sure that the oven actually does gets fixed).

Just Think Of A Calm Place
Little Glen, Glen Arbor,  Michigan